dying

Dying well is a lost art. Most of us are so scared of death that we don't want to even think about it much less consider how to die well. But how can you live well if you're not in touch with your oncoming death. The truth is, our days are limited, they will not last forever. How will we spend them? There will be a point in time when we take our last breath and the canvas of our lives will be finished. But what will it say? Or to be more theologically correct, Act 1 of a great play will be finished. The better Acts are to come but this one will surely be finished. Our spirits will be disconnected from our bodies until they are returned to us fixed, repaired, and glorious.

But how will we die? Will have to be dragged off the stage after that first Act or will we gracefully exit, excited about what is to come? I think this is one of the serious downfalls of living in a society with the technology to keep us "alive" even after we lose consciousness. We are much less in touch with our own mortality and so we don't learn how to die well. Also, we are seldom with people when they die. People don't consciously die in homes anymore and so few of us get to see someone die. I don't say that with morbid fascination but just to say we don't have many models. When I was a kid I remember thinking that I wanted to die in my sleep. I was so afraid of the pain involved that I figured going in your sleep is the way to go. If the Lord sees fit to take me that way then I won't complain but tonight I hope that when I die I am able to be with those I care most about and consciously commit my spirit to the Lord as Jesus did. Has anyone ever died as well as he did? Here was an innocent man, taking on the punishment that others deserved, experiencing the cruelest form of death that has probably ever been invented. While dying, he asks for the forgiveness of his tormentors, asks his friend to care for his mom, offers eternal life to those dying with him, goes through hell and separation from the Father, comes through it and with joy (I believe) says, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."

My days are numbered though I do not know the number. I want to spend my remaining days living intentionally. I want to make them count for something. I can trust that whatever the Lord has planned for my life, I will not die until its complete. That's a good feeling. I hope and pray that in death I can bring honor to the one who makes life worth living.

retreat

I'm leaving for a spiritual retreat and will be at the Lake Swan Camp in Melrose, FL. I don't include that so that you'll come visit. But, what a privilege to have a job where this is part of my job description.

prayer

my boy John White on prayer...

"we must remind ourselves again of the basic nature of prayer: a response to God's initiative". [I am wondering if that statement is true in all its simplicity.]

White quoting C.S. Lewis, "God whispers to us in our pleasures but shouts to us in our pain."

"Longing is always understood clearly by God."

"Evangelical Christians are far to ready to treat God as a heavenly buddy."

blogging

I think I need to find a way to have more significant conversations on a daily basis. Being an external processor I don't really do a good job of reflecting on life if I'm left to myself to conjure up thoughts. Trying to post to this blogspot has shown this to be true. I find that most of my significant thoughts come from things I'm reading. I think that is fine but I would like to be this person who has significant thoughts that just come from reflecting on life, events, etc... But that doesn't seem to happen in my life, so I can either just continue to post about things I'm reading or I need to find find ways and time to have the kind of conversations with other people that I would like. Where are all the philosophers?

partnership with God?

I'm reading Daring To Draw Near by John White (who is steadily rising to the top of my favorite authors list). The other books of his that I've read (all or part of) are The Fight, Eros Defiled, and The Cost of Commitment. Each one has had a profound impact on me. On my bookshelf for the future are Excellence in Leadership and The Pathway of Holiness. Anyway, now that I'm finished gushing over John White I'll get on with my post.

In the first chapter of this book he explores the interaction that Abraham has with God in Genesis 18 as the three visitors are leaving. You're probably familiar with the story, God reveals he's about to destroy Sodom, and Abraham begins to plead with God to save the city if there are some righteous people there. One of White's assertions is that God not only chooses to call us friends (John 15:15) but that he also wants us to be his partners, to have a role in his plans. White says that this is part of why God lets Abraham in on what he is about to do. He's inviting Abraham to take counsel with himself on matters of importance to him. In White's words, "God has called you to attend a celestial board meeting to deliberate with him on matters of destiny."

This argument certainly seems to be treading on thin ice to me. Would God actually involve us on that level in his purposes in the world. The part of me that is convinced of God's utter sovereignty certainly hesitates. If this is true it would drastically change my prayer life though. White points out that there is no longer room for "if it be your will" kinds of prayers because that is essentially lazy pseudoreverence. It's a cop out from struggling to find out what God's will is, or it's a "lack of faith in the character of the Invisible One who works miraculously in the face of impossible odds".

What if God really does want this kind of partnership with us? Would I feel like someone with a brand new MBA walking into a board meeting with Donald Trump? Excited to be there and contribute but scared to be fired at any minute for saying something stupid. It would definitely add a new dimension to Jesus saying that if we ask anything in his name that he will do it. I'm imagining a business owner and a young apprentice. They usually reason everything out together, and the owner always has the last call, but it's a true discussion with give and take on both sides. And when the young apprentice makes a special request that isn't clearly bad for the company the owner will grant it because of their relationship. Could this be true?

progress?

I haven't read many books from the 1600's but a few years back I read The Pilgrim's Progress. One of the characters in the allegory that Christian walks along with for awhile is a guy named Talkative. I remember Talkative because I was severely convicted by this character. He seemed like a great guy to Christian at first and he had great ideas and talked about all the right things. But slowly, Christian began to realize that all he ever did was talk. And he wasn't really willing to do anything and live out his values, he just wanted to talk about the faith.

There is way too much "Talkative" in me. I have seen that again and again. I'm an idealist and I love to talk about my ideals. It's much harder for me to get around to living them out though. And so I fall into the trap of talking and talking and never doing the things I know I should do.

Well, today someone came into my office and was telling me about these boys and girls that she works with that are coming from some pretty tough living situations and the need for people to invest in them and see their potential and be with them as they do their homework and stuff. Now for 2 years, I have talked about and had the personal goal to get involved in some kind of after-school program here in Gainesville. The opportunity presented itself today.

Will I just be all talk?

building the Kingdom

are we called to build the Kingdom of God? Jesus almost always preached about the Kingdom of God (or Heaven) but he never said anything about advancing it or building it. instead, he said stuff like, "the Kingdom is within you" or "the Kingdom is here" or "the Kingdom is near". but never, "go forth, and build ye the Kingdom".

how has "building the Kingdom" slipped into our language so easily? I use this phrase all the time but it was pointed out to me today that behind that phrase lies a mindset of works that is in contrast to the Kingdom that is both "already" and "not yet".

is it wrong to think in terms of building or advancing the Kingdom?

(origin of thoughts credit: This Beautiful Mess)